Before class even got started I encountered Boy Wonder at the water fountain. He informed that me that he had read my blog (uh oh!) and when I asked if he was going to kick my butt he said something along the lines of "probably".
Remember the pull ups from yesterday? The ones that in no way even remotely resembled proper technique? The ones that I was certain were going to pull my shoulders out of socket? Well, during the pre-warm up period, who did I spy doing pull ups as a warm up? Boy Wonder!!! And he was doing them correctly! Without jumping or kicking his legs like a crazy person! Not that I do that or anything.
Okay yes I do. I am such an epic failure.
Moving right along. Everything went as usual until I learned that we would be doing handstand push ups. In order to do these, one must kick themselves up onto the wall as if they are doing a cartwheel or something of that nature. Once one's feet hit the wall, they then bend at the elbows until their head touches the floor and then bring themselves back up again before kicking off of the wall and bringing themselves back onto their feet.
Well. We all know how coordinated I am so I'm sure I don't have to tell you what happened. Or, more appropriately, what didn't happen. I am not sure where my fear came from but I was terrified of injuring myself. On the first try, I got my feet up but my landing was less than ideal. The result is a lime sized bruise on my left knee that thwarted my plans of wearing my brand new No. 2 JCREW pencil skirt that my best pal hooked me up with over the weekend. I thought that the purple of the bruise and the green of the skirt would complement one another nicely but since the right knee doesn't have one to match, it threw off the symmetry. Black pants it is!
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| So that you know I'm not exaggerating! |
I'm sure that I don't need to tell you that boy wonder, also known as D, was doing the handstand push ups with relative ease. I just pretended that he wasn't there and that I had perfect form. Life is easier when I'm in denial!
We did power cleans and push ups but the real torture came in the form of "toes to bar." The idea is to suspend yourself from a bar that hovers above your head as if you are going to do a pull up. Instead of pulling up, you pull your feet up, using your abs, until your toes touch the bar. In theory your body should be bent in half. Mine looked more like a pike than anything. And not a good pike. It burned so I felt confident that I must be doing something right.
By the end of the hour my arms were stinging furiously and my lower back wasn't faring much better. I think it was all of the glute squeezing we did during the push ups. When I got home I couldn't even lift Polly onto the bed. I dropped her the first time and the second time I just kind of boosted her butt enough for her to be able to claw her way up.
I know, she's a standard poodle and has incredibly long legs. It is an unexplained mystery as to why she can't jump on the bed but she's spoiled rotten so I put her up there. She is, however, able to jump off at the spur of the moment and whine in my face until I get up and put her back up. I have ruined her beyond help.
Today is my rest day so I will enjoy sitting my butt on the couch and watching Law and Order: SVU to my heart's content tonight!
Off to fight the good fight,
Sun Dizzle
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