Focus... Focus... Huh?

My mind is mush. No matter how many Mountain Dews I drank today I could not get with the program. It wasn't until I saw that I only had an hour left at work that I actually became a productive member of society. I was a number crunching machine.

Anyhoo, I've got several things to tell you about but can't formulate a cohesive blog entry so I'm reverting to my favorite story telling method: listing.

1. My uncle's dog has recently taken up opossum hunting. She trees the opossum (or, "possum" as Helper insists I say/spell it.) and he shoots it. The end.

2. He likes this because the opossums are killing his chickens. I dislike this because I dislike the menagerie that is his back yard. If I wanted to wake up at the butt crack of dawn I'd set an alarm. I don't need the stupid chickens to start my day for me.

3. The dog is cute so I can't take it personally. She runs with one of her back legs picked up off of the ground as though it is slowing her down. And she pees when I talk to her. I like her.

4. Moaner, aka Caroline, sent me a box of clothes and I'm going to wear every single article at some point this week. I've already worn 4 out of 8 and it's only Monday. I'm certain that I'd dress like a homeless troll if I didn't have her to guide me away from the yoga pants and flip flops.

5. Helper's name is Adam and he edits my blog every day. I hate it when he finds spelling errors.

6. I hate it even more when he misses my spelling errors.

7. I shop at a ridiculously expensive grocery store called the Piglet because it is near Adam's house. I once paid $45.00 for soup ingredients because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. FORTY-FIVE BONES! I could have bought a bra and made soup with that money!

8. Granny is making a quilt and I fully intend to somehow smuggle it into my room.

9. She'd scalp me if I stole her quilt.

10. Every single tv show that I watched today made me cry. Not sobbing like hearing Tim McGraw's My Little Girl, but misty like you get when you see the ASPCA commercial.

Ok so that makes me sob, too. I cry a lot.

11. I ate a honey bun for dinner and didn't even feel bad.

12. I'm pretty sure that #11 is absolutely a bad thing.

13. I'm going to find my tennis shoes tomorrow.

14. Goodnight.