Nope! I sure didn't! On Friday, I went to the big kid's crossfit class. I wanted to puke when I woke up and could barely eat a piece of bacon for breakfast. Driving there I felt like I was going to pee in my pants. (Just keeping it real folks). I knew that when I got there the anticipation and fear would go away but the getting there was the hardest part.
Well, I made it. And it was rough. Eric was overly enthusiastic about the workout when I got there so I knew that it was sure to be a doozy. The fact that it was named "Hell"en ( Get it? Helen?) solidified my opinion. And hell it was. (They name the workouts after women, btw.) Before class got started I considered ducking out but Adam's friend Paul was in the class and talked me into toughing it out.
**I realize that for non-Crossfitters, it is difficult to understand some of the terminiology so I'll be linking to videos and products to help clarify. When you see a word that is blue and underlined, click on it to follow the link to a video/picture of what I'm talking about.)
We started the workout by figuring out our Dead Lift maxes. That part wasn't too difficult since I've got the muscle tone of a newborn. In five minutes I had my max so I sat back and watched the rest of the class. As the weights got heavier, the grunts got louder and the sound of bars being dropped on the ground echoed throught the gym. It was intense. Thankfully, I was sipping on my Springtime water watching from the safety of the benches.
Now for the workout. First up, we have the Kettlebell. You can find cute ones that look like this, or you can find the ones that we use that look like THIS. Not only are they intimidating to look at but those suckers are heavy! I got to use a baby one but that didn't make the burn any better. Cellulite be damned, I was squeezing everything in my body to get that thing to where it needed to go. I more or less started the movement by placing it between my legs and swinging it up to eye level. You would think that it is all about the arms but it's really your pelvis and glutes that are feeling the burn. At least that's what I was feeling and we know my form isn't perfect.
After the KBs we did pullups. I've talked enough about pull ups for you to know that I hate them and they hate me. Pull ups were followed by a 400m run and then repeated. Three fracking times.
During the running portion I always
The one and only reason I went on Saturday was because it was picture day at Crossfit DGA and MP said that it would mean a lot to him if everyone was there. So I went. And I sweated my butt off. Literally. After pictures (which took all of three seconds) we were divided into teams of three to complete the Workout of the Day (WOD). Here is a picture of the board. It looks like heiroglyphics at first but I'll decipher it for you.
The left side of the board has the teams and the number of reps they did. I am on team #2 and somehow I didn't bog us down too badly. We did pretty great, in fact! The right side of the board is the actual workout. This doesn't include the squats, lunges and run we did to warm up. I really wished they only had one "T" in their last name. You'll know why in a minute.
For the curious, here is the breakdown of the workout.
Squats: aka Air Squats. Basically you just do a bunch of squats. With 3 team members that meant 133 per person. We were timed so were knocking them out pretty quickly.
Clean: Power Cleans. Here is a video of someone doing one with the same weight I did. Just kidding. I did way more. Not.
Overhead Lunges: Lunges holding a weight above your head. They are every bit as fun as they sound. I was supposed to do 100 but I squeezed out 75. It was a painful 75, I promise.
Toes to Bar: Mine were more like knees to boobs but here is what they're supposed to look like. I also swing like a monkey when I'm doing them. One day I'm going to lose my grip and go flying into the wall behind me.
TGU: Turkish Get Ups. MP and Rich (the bossy manchine who loves his nickname, btw) said mine were about halfway correct but I was trying so they let me slide. Here is what they look like. I have a theory that a dentist made these up because, seriously, if that kettlebell falls on your face your teeth are TOAST.
Sea Lions: Oh, the sea lions. I didn't get to these (darn!) because we ran out of time. In case you're wondering, this is what I do not look like doing them. (Excuse the stupid video. It's the only one I could find that didn't have actual sea lions in it. The first few seconds of the video should be sufficient.)
There were 1,030 total reps and our team did 754 in the time allowed. That means we did 73% which is awesome considering we had about 20 minutes to do it.
Dude. I felt like I was going to vomit, cry, pass out, die and laugh all at once. Add to that the fact that the photographer stuck around to get some video footage and I was DONE! I am terrified of the video he got of me because, seriously, I was struggling!
We were actually doing this specific workout to help raise money for one of our Crossfit Families whose house burned down last week. What happened to selling wrapping paper and cookies! Or t-shirts? Everyone likes t-shirts!
All jokes aside, there aren't enough words to describe the feeling of accomplishment I had after the workouts on Friday and Saturday. Going into a gym full of people who have been doing this way longer than I have was intimidating to say the least. I wanted to leave before I had the time to embarrass myself, but I'm glad that I stayed because I would have never known that I can do it.
I'm going back for more tonight and I'm taking fresh meat with me! Yay!
Holler,
Sunny
Ps. I've been looking up Paleo recipes but they all look like vomit. I'm playing with the idea of posting my own modified recipes so stay tuned!
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