Mental Block

I'm sure that by this point I've mentioned my knack for blocking out painful memories.  It's usually just things I've done that have embarrassed me in one capacity or another that I actively forget. Caroline likes to make sure that some things are always remembered but, for the most part, I'm left to my own devices to forget those things I deem fit for forgetting. Things like falling in public (at a bus stop in front of 100 people to be precise), telling a co-worker the wrong schedule (guilty. many times over.) and other things from my childhood that I want to just. go. away.

Well, I'm staring at my clock at Crossfit time is rapidly approaching. I'm not even done blocking out the last class and another one is hot on my heels. It seems that I am so effective at this "mental blocking" that I made myself forget how much I do NOT like heights. Rails are my life. Stair rails, porch rails, walkway rails, etc. I love rails. They keep me safe and prevent my stomach from falling through my feet.

Last night my fear of heights came running at me. Running like Daniel Day Lewis did after that moose in the forest and there were no rails anywhere around.

I am heights and I am going to make you want to vomit!

Y'all. I am such a sissy. Like, embarrassingly so. We had to do burpees and then jump (both feet at once!) over an object of our choosing. Naturally, Dr. Death chose a bench (show off). I thought that the line on the floor should be sufficient but Eric told me I could jump over a "utility block".

The utility block looks like foam but weighs as much as cured cement. It took me a couple of minutes to loudly roll it over to my area and once I got there my legs were on FIYAH. (Here is a link to one.) When it came for me to jump over said block, fear consumed me and I wanted to puke. Not only do I hate heights but I am also morbidly afraid of anything that could potentially break my two front teeth out of my head- and this qualifies. I had visions of my feet catching the block and throwing my forward. Teeth first.

I thought that by telling Major Pain my qualm that I would be exempt from block jumping but he just laughed at me and told me to do one. So I did. There was a collective "Oh my God, Sunny" from the peanut gallery when I sailed over the block so I shut up and went about my jumping and burpeeing. (I use the term sail loosely but I like to imagine that I am graceful.)I am not lying when I say that I said "please, Lord" in my head every single time I went to jump over that heavy little box.

I made it through somehow and decided to do some abs after class seeing as how I don't really have any right now and MP is constantly telling me to tighten them. My friend Brandy and I did a few random exercises but boredom got the best of us so we kind of shuffled around aimlessly until we arrived at our final destination.

Meet Final Destination

This isn't an exact replica of the equipment at our gym but it's close enough for blogging purposes. Basically, you put your feet under the two bars on the right and put your butt dangling off of the platform up top. You drop backwards (in a controlled motion) and bring yourself back upright using your abs.

Two problems with this. 1) I dont' trust the foot things to keep me from crashing to the floor and 2) HOLY CRAP BATMAN I felt like I was 1,000 feet up in the air and 3) my teeth could be injured in the process of #1 (I know I said only two). I seriously don't know why my fear of heights has chosen this time in my life to make itself known but it is showing OUT big time. I scurried down from my perch and decided that bicycle sit ups it is for this girl!

So, I haven't even overcome this mental handicap and here comes another class! I really don't know why I'm so scared. It's not like I'm climbing rail-less stairs or anything. As tired as my quads are I am praying for some sort of leg work that doesn't involve vertical movement.

Now, I am going to mentally prepare myself for what will probably be a non-traumatizing experience.

Holla,

Fraidy Cat