Unscented: Undetected

"I need some unscented soap, shampoo and conditioner, deodorant, and laundry stuff."-Husband

First off, does that not defeat the purpose of all of the above? I mean, if you have an allergy to fragrances I guess that it would make sense to have those products, but I know that A has none of the above. He is actually enthusiastic about new toiletries. In fact, when I stock up on shampoo when it's on sale, he puts every. single. bottle. in the shower so that he can try them out. Annoying? Yes. Charming? Sometimes.

After I mentally prepared myself to answer his question, I replied: "I can make all of those things with recipes I found on Pinterest for toiletries and even cleaning products." Then, I asked the obvious. "Why, husband, do you want all of these items unscented?

Are you ready?

"So the deer won't smell me."

So... the deer... won't smell him? The same deer that literally run out in front of my car on a regular basis?

**Side Note: This is not uncommon, I have learned. There is an entire market of these items targeted at hunters. You can buy female deer (doe) URINE to spray on your shoes so that the buck (male deer) will think that you're a female looking for love. You can buy dirt scented dryer sheets so that the deer don't smell you and detect a foreign invader in their habitat. The list goes on and on. I will post a list of my favorites at a later date, but now, back to your regularly scheduled program.

Yes, he wants these products to completely eliminate the smells associated with humans so that he can then have a "blank canvas", if you will, onto which he will spray deer smells that he has purchased from a mass producer of all things hunting related.

Obviously, I didn't sense the urgency of the need for these products, because I put them on my "to do this weekend" list. Well, my resourceful husband took matters into his own hands.

He woke up early on the weekend to return the vases he had purchased for our wedding reception, since he had no use for them now that they had served their purpose. There was absolutely NO WAY I was going to sit in that return line with him while he returned the used vases. However, they were much cleaner after we used them than they were when we purchased them. Maybe we actually did them a favor? Who knows.

Anyway, when he returned from town, he had two bags in hand and a look of sheer glee splayed across his face.

 He had spent $60 on unscented products. I literally could have made everything he wanted for $15.00 and had enough to last him for five hunting seasons.

The only thing that kept me from blasting him for how ridiculous it was for him to buy all of his stuff was the excitement on his face as he examined all of his new products. He looked like a kid at Christmas.  I've never seen the boy so happy to go take a shower. Or wash clothes! The icing on the cake was when he took his freshly washed and dried laundry and, wait for it, folded it and placed it inside of the SCENT FREE plastic bag that was so graciously included in his kit!

So, this morning when he went hunting, I smiled to myself as he showered with his special shampoo/conditioner and green bar of soap that I'm forbidden to use, extracted his clothes from the scent free bag and carefully dressed without touching anything in the room as not to pick up "human scents". And when he walked out the door, I knew that he paused underneath the deck to spray down in an additional layer of scent killer before he struck off for the woods.

It may be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of, and I may think that it is absolutely insane, but I can honestly say that it's worth it because it buys me more time to sleep in. God bless the scent blocker. Amen.