Impaired

I love my Granny. She is a woman of many talents. She can cook like nobody's business. She can bake a caramel cake that will make you cry. She irons her pillow cases and top sheets. Her hardwood floors are spotless at all times. And she's beautiful, too.

However, there is one arena that escapes her: Technology.

The woman is impaired. She can't for the life of her get past the mental hurdle that is figuring out computers, remote controls, and cell phones.

It's not uncommon for me to hear a knock on my door around midnight. 

"Hello? Granny is that you?"

I hear a giggle followed by, "We rolled on the remote again and the screen is in another language."

Don't even get me started on her working the computer. I'm sure you all can relate. 

Well, this morning took the cake. 

Granny came into my room informing me that her cell phone is broken. It won't work. Yesterday it died for the first time ever and and even though she charged it over night it's still dead and won't work. She brought it in to me and I looked at it. It was off, so I turned it on. 

"Granny, did you even turn it on?"

"Yes. I turned it on and it died again and it's not working and Liz couldn't get in touch with me and I have GOT to have my phone."

She was getting really frustrated with me because she thought I was insinuating that she didn't know what she was talking about. (She doesn't know what she's talking about.) I figured she needed a new battery so I sent her on her way.

She leaves to go pay the insurance man and I go about my business. Thirty minutes later she calls me exclaming that her phone is now fully operational. 

"It didn't die again?"

"No! Kim just called me and it worked!"

"Granny, did you even turn your phone on yesterday after it finished charging?"

*Crickets*

"You know that you have to turn it "On" after it has died to be able to use the phone don't you?"

"Uhhhh... You do?"

I'll never win.